Root of the Problem #girlslikeus #boyslikeus #gqslikeus #trans #transgender #lgbt #glbt #noh8
So there is a lot of argument over trans people being included in the space for other groups. Most often, this comes down to the argument over trans women being included in women’s spaces.
Here’s the the root of the problem there:
If your argument says that trans women are not women, then you are being transphobic.
You can try to justify it by an absurd appeal to the “way things are” (just as people do whenever they get told they are being assholes) by trying to say idiotic stuff like “biology!” when biology tells us that trans women are women. Its a nice try, but pretty fucking stupid, because, after all, what you are doing when you say that is reinforcing the idea that women are limited by their biological destiny, which is always determined by men in our current culture.
If your argument is that Cis women need a space of their own, you are getting closer, except then you are being transphobic because that’s like saying that the rest of the world isn’t a place for Cis people already. Its no different from the argument that says there should be a celebration of straight pride when every single day is a celebration of straight pride.
Now, personally, if someone wants to limit a space to just cis women, and does so, on the basis of “cis women have special needs that trans women do not”, I’m going to look at you and treat you like the infantile child you are acting like.
I’m also going to look at a trans person who says that talking about menses is transphobic in the same way because, well, they are acting the same way.
The root of the problem in both of the issues above is really simple:
Trans women are women.
Trans men are men.
If you cannot get that through your head, if you cannot incorporate that understanding into what you do, then you are, simply, dealing with some form of aversion, anxiety, or aversion to transness or trans people.
It is really that simple. There’s no special way around it. You are being an asshole. You can choose to embrace being an asshole and end up on the wrong side of history (and you will — make no mistake). You can choose to shut up and just be an asshole n your own as slowly but surely you find yourself aligned ever more closely with the fringe, and the people who hate for no damn good reason.
Or several other things. I’m not going to tell you what you can do about it if you lack the ability to change your outlook. SOme people do. Some people tried really hard to be a “friend” and then became a nefarious enemy when they gave up trying to be different because they do not have the ability to change.
I mean that, as well. If you *cannot* get that simple thing through your head, you are in trouble. You are also broken.
Because most reasonable people can understand that, and can get that, and that’s all it takes.
The other root problem is that a lot of people like to think there is “normal” and then there is trans.
Like a lot of people think there is normal and then there is Black.
And so they base their arguments in a pretend fight between Trans people and normal people.
That isn’t the fight.
The fight is between Cis people and all the folks they crap on daily, just like white folks rap on people of color.
Now, Trans tends to be the “leading” visible aspect of that, just like “black” is for people of color. That doesn’t mean, for example, the fight is just between black and white people. It isn’t. It between white folks and the people they have been crapping on.
WHich is to say the basis of the argument (you are different from me, so you are lesser than I am) is the same, not that racism is the same thing as transphobia.
oddly enough, however, studies show that when you fall for one, you fall for others.
Now, it really is *that* simple. It doesn’t take much more thought than any of that.
But because it is that simple, it lies at a very key area in social systems. And that area is the way society constructs things around the differences in people.
WHich is not all that simple.
So that’s why people go to such great lengths to make those convoluted arguments, when, n the end, all they are trying, really, really hard to do is defend their position that trans women are men.
And that’s an awful lot of effort to go to to say that when all they really have to do is realize that trans women are women. And once you get that in your head, in your mind, in your thoughts, then you realize that trans women are women.
And all the stupid arguments stop happening. And the world spins on. And society keeps going. And there are still things to do and problems to solve and people to help.
That is the first and most important thing to remember when dealing with trans people. THats the key. Without that key, without that, *everything else* is just going to keep running into the wall that is simple, basic, common human decency.
ANd for the few who cannot do it, well, they lack that decency.